We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars,
Oscar Wilde
CHAPTER 29 BIG SHEDS
Alex saw the shed roofs beyond a tall fence and trees. Dozens of roofs, perhaps hundreds. Enormous things, old and grey weathered with patches of mould and moss.
“Oakchapel Depot” said the sign. Alex drove in.
“Hallo. I’m Alex Holder. I believe Mister Jim Browner is expecting me.”
“Oh,” said the MOD Gate Guard. “Could be.” He reached through the window of his sentry box for a clip board. “Oh yeah. Your on the list. I think your party's waiting for you in the canteen there. Best if you park up and go in. That’s it there. First building on the left.” He pressed a button to raise the boom.
“Thank you.” Alex parked by other cars outside the club. He had been expecting something more, well, military, but this was a sort of café. There were big TV’s hung from the ceiling showing live football. Hard looking men in overalls and scruffy jackets sat at some of the dozens of plastic tables, drinking tea or eating fry ups. The menu on the wall had chips with everything.
“Oh hallo.” smiled an older man “Are you Alex Holder?”
“Yes.”
“I’m Jim Browner. Just having a bacon sandwich. Long drive up yer from Carbonec, specially in the cars they d’ give us. Wont be a sec.”
“No rush” said Alex “Don’t hurry just for me.”
“Tha’s oright my soner. There we are. All gone. Less you wants to stop here for a cuppa?”
“No I’ve just had breakfast at the hotel. The one by the motorway.”
“Oh arr. I knows it. Right, well, best get you booked in. You come in my car and I’ll sort you out. All right?”
“Yes, all right.” Alex followed, past his restored Porsche, to something rather smaller and nastier.
“In you gets. The thing is, the King gets a Rolls Royce. The Prime Minister gets a Jag or summat, the Ministers get some executive motor, the Generals get some family four door and by the time you gets down to me, I’m taking one of these things. From the Transport Squadron Motor Pool at Carbonec. That’s if some Colonel don’t want it first.”
“I see.” Alex didn’t know whether he should treat this as humour or not.
It was a short drive between some of the sheds, bounded by immaculate lawns, to a small red brick guard house where they got out and Jim signed for Alex and got him photographed and issued with a temporary “Must be Accompanied at all times” pass to hang round his neck.
Then they drove through the next gate. “This be the more secure part of it all. That café we was at be just for truck drivers and that. They never used to be allowed in here, but nowadays they lets any one in.”
“Even me?” asked Alex.
“Oh yeah. Even you. Thing is the place is a bit of a mess now. Some of them sheds got missiles and stuff in em. And others get rented out to civie companies to try and make a bit of dough. Maximising assets it’s called. Oh hang on. He’s bigger than me” Jim pulled to the road side letting an enormous military vehicle rumble slowly past. “That’s one of they new amphibious bridge building things. Handy for all these floods we’m getting now. Now there see? Them sheds got tanks in. All air conditioned, moisture controlled and stuff. And all doors locked and they TV cameras watching it all. But then you looks through some of they doors over there, see? Bloody palettes of tins and stuff for supermarkets. There’s others got motor spares. Even Holders got stuff here. They’re no relation of yours are they? I bought brake pads and discs off they a while back, bloody rubbish they was. And that lot there is these new Chinese trucks they’m bringing in. Had Chinese trains here for a bit while they was getting type approved. You gets all sorts here.”
“Wow. That is the biggest tank I’ve ever seen.”
“Oh that be the old AS90. They don’t build em big like that no more. It’s all air portable nowadays. Truth is a lot of this stuff is just waiting for some sort of disposal decision. But thing is you can never tell. Don’t know what we wants till war breaks out some place we never thought of. I mean all that earth moving stuff over there. Bulldozers and stuff. You’d have trouble getting that size of plant from a civie contractor in a hurry. So if you gets floods some place an wants a dyke or summat overnight then the army got the stuff here to do it.”
“I see. So who are all those soldiers there? In that bus.”
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