“Of course you must wear your uniform. You look really good in Navy Blue.” Said Alicia.
“Oh. I don’t know. I’m a civvie really. There’s going to be lots of real Navy there.”
“You are real Navy.”
“I mean full time Navy.” Said Joe.
“It’s going to be full of UP Navy men who have never fired a shot in anger. Like my son for instance. I’ve told him all about you. He will expect to meet my hero in a uniform. A smart Navy Blue dress uniform.”
“I don’t know. What did the invite say?”
“I’ll show you again.” Alicia “thought” the invite up and sent it to Joes skull phone. Joe saw the UP ambassador’s image once more. She was a tall lady with silver hair and a long silver gown.
“Hallo. As you know our Minister of Defence Procurement is visiting Earth to sign the first draught acquisition protocols for the Thunderbird Production Line contract. This is just one more aspect of the ever-growing trust and cooperation between our two governments. To mark the occasion I want to invite you to a formal ball to be held on our visiting mother ship, The Liberty. I do sincerely hope you accept.”
The ambassador smiled. Her image was replaced by the small print. Security, times, transport.
“Now come on Joe. Up you get.” Alicia was already wearing black knickers and watching her image in the mirror. She reached for a long black gown and held it in front of her. “I suppose black will be alright. The trouble is half the women there will be in black. It’s supposed to be a formal sort of colour.”
“Then wear the blue” Joe got off the bed and walked towards his best uniform, newly cleaned, on its hanger.
“Are you sure?”
“Oh Alicia. You look great in them all. What’s the problem?”
“You are useless. Alright. The blue, but…”
“But the orange suits you better.”
“You only saying that because I wore an orange bikini when we met.”
“Yes. What’s wrong with that? You look great.”
“I can’t wear orange to an embassy ball. It will have to be the blue.” Alicia slipped the flowing shimmering dress over her head. “Now you can see my knickers. Does that matter?”
“I only notice them because I’m looking. They’re black. Its not like they’re white or anything. Right. I’m ready.”
“Oh that suits you. It really suits you.”
“How now. How now? Mistah Man? Ranka Dede?” Said a voice outside.
“That’s the cab,” said Alicia.
“Kabu-kabu done come dis place. Better begin go.”
“Cab?” said Joe
“How now. Dis kabu.”
“Yes of course a cab. We can’t go on a train dressed like this.”
“Why?”
“Because we might get our clothes dirty. Come on. This will have to do. Halo cabby. Oh dear. Is this your cab?”
“How now. Dis my kabu now. Come ariya. Which level eh? Plenty front eh. Lakuli bobi geboyen, opeke. Dat ya cut an sew make finish for onani. Cross no gutter, di bobo deck o ah-ah.”
“Hi.” Said Joe.
“Ah dis yua Baba eh? ”
“ Lock the house dear.”
“Oho woman lapa.”
“ It’s a bit smelly in your cab. Are your seats clean?”
“Eh sisi babi. No
hear de smell too much. Because why? Is come some Alan Poza, feferity
area boy. Sweat like Christmas goat. Is drop block. Is drop block
like drain duck. I say na wha? Over stone. Yua make mouth? Yua fool
way pass Mamfe? Yua get home wahala? Is kabu-kabu no dorti-dorti soak
away. Yua gi mi dash one time. He head no correct. No wan heah. Is
be gra gra to me. I find my mouth. I no deh fear you. Wetin de de do
you. I no egbe for uselu. No dash, no go. He say what dash? Nada. Is
come free cinema. Plenty wahala. I say Listen well. Idonkeya yua
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